One of my favorite books, The 7 habits of highly effective people

 

The cover of the book itself

Written in 1989 by Stephen R. Covey, An iconic self-help and 432 page long book that explains the traits of a highly effective person not only in business but also be successful in life itself. This book aims to change the way you see the world around you and creates a better understanding on the definition of success. A book I read not a while ago, recommended by my aunt. I'm really not a bookworm myself but I did love the reading this book. I think everyone should read at least one type of these self-help books. Though, I just wanna summarize what this book wants to express.

What are these seven habits? A likewise summary.

The book argues that it is not your personality, but your character that needs to be cultivated in order to achieve sustainable success. These seven habits are composed of the primary principles of character upon which happiness and success are based. The aim however, is to adjust your character so you see the world in a positive paradigm. The habits are:

1. Be proactive
2. Begin with the end in mind
3. Put first things first
4. Think win/win
5. Seek to understand first, before making yourself understood
6. Learn to synergize
7. Sharpen the saw if you want to keep sawing

The seven habits.

Be proactive

"Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions." - Stephen R. Covey 

This chapter states that instead of being proactive as in taking responsibility for their decisions and behavior, most people are reactive and they allow external circumstances to dictate their behavior. Instead of blaming the world, the actions of others or even a bad weather for your problems or dictate your mood, you can much more effective by focusing on the things that you can actually change or influence and not worry about stuff you can't do anything about.

Begin with the end in mind

"Through imagination, we can visualize the uncreated worlds of potential that lie within us." - Stephen R. Covey

The writer argues, when you take an action, you actually do it twice. The first time is when imagine doing it within your imagination, while the second time is when you actually do it in real life. An example of the construction of a house is used to explain this. First you visualize the house, the detailed layout and necessary materials in a blueprint, then you start building it. Without this blueprint, it's very likely there will be some costly mistakes while building.

This is basically saying that if you imagine an action and its desired consequences first, instead of randomly trying to accomplish it and possibly the wrong way, the more likely you are to have success. This is what differentiates being efficient or effective. There is no point in accomplishing loads of tasks in a short amount of time, if you never achieve the desired outcome.

Put first things first

"Organize and execute around priorities." - Stephen R. Covey

This habit is about prioritizing and figuring out things that are more important and always put them first. The book categorizes these tasks into four quadrants based on whether it's important or urgent.

The quadrants of tasks.

It's said to focus on Quadrant Two first, as these tasks are the ones that likely have positive impacts in the long run and help towards larger goals. The more these are focused on, the less tasks eventually appear in Quadrant One, which most people mistakenly deem to be the most important. Of course, important and urgent tasks should be done first, but the tasks in Quadrant 2 should be done alongside by a little every day.

Think win-win

"Win/win sees life as a cooperative, not as a competitive arena." - Stephen R. Covey

Life is nothing but a negotiation. Many people interactions either at work or in their personal lives is often viewed as a competition, which is basically the outcome of seeking a 'win/lose" when going into a situation with others. On, the other hand effective people foresee the benefits of giving everyone a fair share of the pie and fostering positive long-term relationships. Try approaching situations with willingness to negotiate until both parties are satisfied and you’ll see greater returns in the end.

The writer compares relationships to ‘emotional banks accounts’. This implies, everytime you have an interaction with someone, you are either depositing or withdrawing from the account. A payment could be finding a win-win solution, or listening to someone properly. A withdrawal could be fighting for a win-lose outcome, pretending to only listen or breaking a promise. The most important payment is trying to truly understand someone and discover what’s important to them.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." - Stephen R. Covey

The writer explains that we don’t really listen to people a lot of the time. Instead, we project our own situation onto them and assume that what they’re thinking and feeling are the same. We then advise them with solutions, but they don’t really work. People rarely trust someone's advice who they don’t feel really understands them or their situation.

You need to listen to others with empathy and get inside their frame of reference to understand them intellectually and emotionally. Notice what they’re saying and also their body language to get the full picture. Only then will people begin to really trust your opinions and advice

Synergize 

"Once people have experienced the real synergy, they are never quite the same again." - Stephen R. Covey

If two things are put together and the outcome is greater than the combined total of the two separate components then that is called synergy. 1+1 can actually be equal to 3 or more if worked together. Everyone using their separate strengths and people working together, while facing a challenge is always better than fighting each other and trying to go it alone. However, this requires understanding, trust and respect among them.

Sharpen the saw if you want to keep sawing

An increasingly educated conscience will propel us along the path of personal freedom, security, wisdom and power. - Stephen R. Covey

This habit is all about self-improvement. Although one's tools may be adequate for the job, if they never stop to sharpen them, they'll become less and less effective. The writer uses the analogy for a lumberjack sawing down trees. If he keeps using his saw constantly without stopping to sharpen his saw, it will eventually become blunt and he won’t be able to cut down trees anymore.

The key message here is that one needs to take care of themselves, stay physically fit, maintain their emotional well-being and mental well-being through expansion of knowledge as well as their social well-being by having good relationships with others. Giving oneself time to recharge instead of working flat-out all of the time results in being a much more effective person in the long run.